terrible translations

We receive translations from in-market volunteers frequently.  Some are better than others.  Many are terrible.  The following are exerpts from a submission for approval on some marketing materials, etc. relating to the launch of a personal care line from a sattelite office in Asia. 

When applied to corpse lotion smell seem natural

...we should really start marketing to funeral homes.

Reckless combining product! Unwise! Can lead, to be large, disaster!

...If the large disaster is defined as reckless utilization of excessive punctuation, I think we're there.

No ingestion of adult and children

...dang.  I thought the brochure said there would be a continental breakfast.

Not for application on eye ball

...sorry folks, you'll have to find your eyeball cleanser elsewhere.

Product distracting when distributed at sensitive neighborhoods

...this is understandable, due to all of the strobe lights and sirens we work into our packaging.

Bad ingredient not accepted or rejected by formula 

...because that's how we roll...indecisively!

 I'm off to tactfully suggest a 3rd party translation review.