Arms, to me: Hey! Wake up and roll off of your back, baby's on the spine and we're getting pretty numb here!
Me: Go away, I'm sleeping.
Arms: tingle tingle tingle
Legs: tingle tingle tingle
Fingers & toes: tingle tingle tingle
Head: whooooo! You'd better do it, I feel funny too!
Spine: Me three!
Me: Fine. rolls over and wiggles extremities
Arms & legs & fingers & toes: TINGLE Tingle tingle tingle tingle
Me: Hurry it up, will ya?
Arms & legs & fingers & toes: how rude.
Me: Shhh. Trying to sleep here!
...ten minutes later
Bladder: Since you're up...
Me: I am not up!
Bladder: Well, you're going to be now, cuz I gots to go!
Me: You said that at midnight and it was a lie.
Bladder: This time it's for real.
Me: ignoring bladder
Bladder: Seriously, move it or lose it missy!
...five minutes later
Baby: kick kickety kick kick kick
Bladder: Ack!!!
Me: Ack!!!
... two minutes later
Me: I knew you were lying.
Bladder: Not lying...exaggerating.
Me: incoherent mental grumbling
...ten minutes later
Baby: punches ribs
Ribs: The baby is punching us.
Me: Give him a break, he doesn't understand what he's doing.
Baby: punches ribs
Ribs: He punched us again! Make him stop!
Me: And how do you suggest I accomplish that?
Baby: punches ribs
Ribs: He's punching us! He's punching us! He's punching us!
Me: la la la, not listening!
Baby: punches ribs repeatedly
Me: Smooshes pillow under side of stomach.
Baby: punches ribs a few more times, then relocates
Ribs: ahhh, thanks!
Me: too tired to respond
...fifteen minutes later
Bladder: Yooo-hooo! Guess what!
Me: Absolutely not!
Bladder: Yup, it's that time again.
Me: smooshes a pillow over head
Bladder: I own you, lady! Don't fight it.
Me: groan
I like this story! It makes me laugh. But I hope you discomfort is less now.
ReplyDeleteI own you lady! so funny!
ReplyDeleteThis was so funny and true I just sprayed milk out of my nose. You should do all of your posting like this!
ReplyDelete